1 Month Countdown! What I'm Nervous About : Baby #3

It's officially 1 month until baby could be here!! This pregnancy went by really fast for the most part (except for the first trimester which always feels longer because of sickness!). We are all really excited and looking forward to adding a boy or girl to the family! I get asked if I have a feeling if it's a boy or girl and I honestly have NO IDEA! With Brynn I knew it was a girl (before we found out it was a girl I had such a strong feeling!) because the pregnancy was so different from my first. I had lots of heartburn, nausea throughout and felt like I couldn't breathe. With this one I have mixed "symptoms" and honestly don't have any feelings if it's a boy or girl, which makes me SO excited for the surprise!

The nursery is coming along! We've bought a few gender neutral outfits and sleepers, but it has been hard to find gender neutral clothes! Thankfully I've kept both Riley's and Brynn's baby clothes as well so once baby is here we can use them! We pretty much have everything for the baby and I'm so thankful that we were gifted a new baby monitor as ours broke and I'm excited to try it out as it is a video monitor! This took some convincing for my husband and he was "anti-video monitoring" for a bit, but I figure with the other 2 busy kids, it will be so nice to not have to run upstairs to check on the baby if we are outside in the summer. We will see how we like it!

Baby is right on "track" as far as measurements go and was head down at my last appointment! I've been feeling good, but have noticed I'm exhausted now by the end of the day and can't wait to crawl into bed. I've tried to keep up with workouts, but am down to usually 2 a week, sometimes 3 if I have a burst of energy ha! Yoga has been amazing and it's been fun to do it with a good friend of mine who is due just about 10 weeks after me! And although I'm trying to watch what I eat, and put in food that provides nutrition to me and the baby, I still have ice cream and don't step on the scale because that's just not what having a baby is about! lol! It took me having 2 babies to realize that it's just a number, and not what defines you, and to embrace all the changes that take place because it is an incredible thing your body goes through to give life to this little one!!

What I'm Nervous About/Post-Partum Anxiety

I can't wait to see the kids with the new baby, and take in all the newborn stages, smells and sounds again! But there is a part of me that holds a bit of anxiety and fear. Motherhood is supposed to be this blissful, your children will sleep through the night at 3 months, they will feed like champs and listen to everything you say right?! WRONG! haha! There is just so much your bodies go through, and every baby/child is so different. What I've learned so far is it's OK to feel these emotions, to be scared, and to talk about these things and pray about them.

It took me quite awhile to feel okay with talking about postpartum anxiety and sharing it with others, and I hope this will help break that stigma that is out there regarding mental health and anxiety.

After I had my daughter, I began experiencing some anxiety. This took the form of thoughts where I was afraid of something happening to her, that I wasn't capable to look after her, fearful of going out with her and any task seemed like an enormous mountain that I wasn't able to get over. It was confusing because I had gone through the newborn stage once before with my son and thought, this should be easy, why am I feeling like I'm drowning? I kept my feelings to myself for awhile, sharing them only with my husband, and he gently asked if I needed to talk to someone or needed help? The thought of asking for help felt humiliating. Why is it so hard to receive help?!

"When we are broken together, we are in communion with each other."

I spoke with a few family members and friends, and being open about the struggles I was having already felt like a breath of air in my lungs! The meals, prayers, and support we had from everyone was incredible and I tear up as I think about how everything fell into place and blessed us in a time of need. I considered talking with a counsellor and my doctor, but was scared to because when I had brought up a few concerns with the public health nurse, they were brushed off and told it was completely normal and I'll "get better" as soon as my hormones level out. While this may be true, it was what shut me down emotionally from sharing what was going on. There were some physical aspects to the postpartum journey as well that I wasn't prepared for and took a real toll on recovery, but I'm thankful for this journey and can wholeheartedly say it has brought me closer and more dependent on God.

This God–his way is perfect;the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

Focussing on the Future

I read a book called, Why Motherhood Matters, and I loved how she said "give someone the blessing of helping you". Don't feel guilty about letting people in and receiving help. Everyone's journey is unique, and God places people in our lives at the right times. Also, bring everything to God, even spilled milk! He is with us in the mundane moments, even when we think He shouldn't be bothered with something so "small". Bring it all to Him.

Thank you for letting me share this here! If you would like to hear more about post-partum anxiety, and about this next chapter after this baby arrives, let me know :) . This is a vulnerable subject for a lot of moms, and I would love to hear from you and your experiences!

xo,

Lindsay

#pregnancyupdate #babynumber3 #postpartum #postpartumanxiety #postpartumjourney